Usually when my kept daughter, Cindy, asks if she can go to church with a friend we normally let her go. Cindy and I go to the church I grew up in, but we let her experience her friends churches as well. The church we belong to is small and it is not a big name church here in the Bible Belt in Texas, our religion is more common on the east coast. Plus, it's good for Cindy to experience these things, keeps her open-minded. If there is something she questions our Minister is pretty good at explaining it for Cindy.
Last night Cindy was invited to attend an event with her friend at their church. We told her she could go. So she went, but when she came home she was angry and was in tears!
This woman from this church told the group of kids they must obey their parents, no matter what. (okay, no big deal)
Sometime during this event the woman got on the subject of adoption...Cindy's ears perked up.
The woman explained to everyone that children who were adopted were "saved". Cindy bit her tongue, she wanted to hear the crap that was about to come out of this woman's mouth. (Cindy's words, not mine) These children were saved from a life of poverty, they were saved from drug addicted parents, they were saved from parents who had no morals, they were saved from uneducated parents who would live a life of crime. Cindy became angry, she knew these were lies.
At the end of this horrible event Cindy approached the woman. "I was I suppose to give my meth addict birth father a second chance because he was my father, but adopted children were "saved" from drug addicted parents. You can't have it both ways, so am I suppose to give him a second chance or am I suppose to be thankful because I was saved?" The woman asked Cindy what church does she go to, Cindy told her she goes to a church where we are taught that God loves everyone, no matter what.
Cindy asked another question. "How do you know for a fact that these adopted children would live a life you have described earlier?" The woman gave Cindy a lame answer, "because that is what happens". Cindy told her she was wrong and she explained "What happens is people like you convince young mothers they can NOT do it instead of helping them find the resources they need to help keep their family together. The child grows up not knowing their true heritage, their true family and the Birthmother is left to live a life of never knowing her child, she is left with a sadness that no one can understand if they did not lose a child to adoption. A family is broken because people like you think you are better than the mother"
Cindy comes home angry and in tears. I told her this wouldn't be the last time she would hear ignorant people speak like that. Once her crying stopped and she calmed down she went to my husband (the extreme atheist with a touch of agnostic). He laughed and told her she shouldn't be so upset, churches push their beliefs onto people whether they are right or wrong. This church believes you're Mom is nothing but a "crack-whore breeder", but it's okay, we know she is not...you just had your first experience with someone who had their head up their ass, and this won't be the last.
Cindy comes up and hugs me good night and she tells me this woman was wrong and these lies have to stop because they hurt so many people. I gave her a kiss and told her she has just begun the battle.