3 - 2 - 1 Action!

The "draft script" for my video to Ashley is written...in pencil.

I took the questions and used them to write everything out.  For some of the questions I did not want to go into a full story, I am letting her know it is another story, for another time...if she is interested.

I'm trying to keep the video about 5 minutes, 10 minutes tops.

All that is left for me to do now is write out my note cards so I stay on track and Monday I will begin recording.  I'm going to include a handwritten note letting her know I tried to write, but it was nearly impossible so I created the video (something along those lines) and I will list the questions I answered.  I will close the note with a "please let me know if you received this and if you are the right person or not" and I will leave just my email address.

Since I am making reference to a Swedish Great Grandmother who welded planes during WWII in the video I'm going to include a small gift wrapped dala horse with its Swedish story.

So hopefully with the note card attached to the video Ashley will know what it is (and what it is about) so she won't be completely freaked out and she'll be curious enough to play it.  I'm also hoping the small dala horse will help warm her up to the idea of wanting to get to know me.

I also hope with the video Ashley will see the similarities...I hope she has a lot of "I do that!" and maybe, just maybe, it will be enough for her to send an email. 

Thank you everyone who helped me figure out what to say!!!

And big squishy hugs for the one who let me use her as my "sound board" and for your wonderful advice.

The First Draft...

Writing, erasing, writing more, erasing again.

Ripped up sheets of notebook paper.

The brand new pencil I was using is now just a nub and the eraser completely gone.

Sending a letter through the agency, or sending one on facebook was never this hard.  I needed to write something that was going to get her attention.  I needed a response...good or bad, I need something so I am no longer in limbo.

My girlfriend Jennifer sent me a text, "how are you doing?"  I responded back with "I need to get drunk, pour my heart out into a 40 page draft.  When I sober up I can condense it to no more that 2 pages".  Jennifer replies "LOL"

Putting myself on paper is extremely difficult.  Even writing here is very, very hard.  It's just not possible for me to put me in writing...I'm way too animated to be on paper.  So this draft letter is tough.

I came up with writing a story in third person, the story was about the circumstances surrounding Ashley's birth and how I wanted to keep her.  I was going to write it on a piece of vellum and draw a picture to go underneath the vellum.  I emailed Jennifer the draft story (I was going to write the rest as a regular letter).

Jennifer replied later.  "I hate it!!  This story should have a happy ending and YOU did NOT have a happy ending.  This is not you."

A was a little relieved to hear that...this is so not me!!  So it was back to the drawing board, a new pencil, new eraser and even more paper.

Jennifer tells me I'm thinking too hard on this.  It appears Ashley is into her Leo sign so Jennifer suggests writing to her sign.

Her sign...

Why didn't I think about this before??

I'm an Aquarius to a T, all I need to do is research the Leo a little.

After studying up a little I send Jennifer a text.  "A letter will not get a Leo's attention and writing a letter is not an Aquarian's style".  Jennifer replies "Any ideas because not knowing is killing you".  I reply back "how about a video.  That will get her attention and she will see the similarities and that should get her curiosity really going".  Jennifer responds "LOVE IT! I have a camera".

So, my approach will be different.  Ashley will have something that not only tells her what she means to me, but she will have something where she can see that we look ALOT alike, she will hear my voice and hear my laughter.  If she watches the video then she should respond.

****  Adoptees, I need your help!!  ****

What questions did you have for your First Mother before making any kind of contact?  I would like to address this the a video.