Monday, May 14, 2012

Mother's Day

Another Mother's Day has come and gone.

No homemade card, no special creation made by the hands of a loving child, no hugs or kisses filled with wishes of a Happy Mother's Day.

Nothing.  Nada.  Zip.

23 Mother's Days have passed.

The words from long ago replay in my mind like a broken record. The words that broke me.  "You are not good enough to raise a child", "The baby deserves a better home", "You can not provide for this baby", "The baby deserves a loving, two parent home who can give her everything she wants", the list goes on...and on...and on...

23 Mother's Days have passed.

No card, no phone call, nothing from the child I have a heart full of love for.

Not too long ago the fog lifted from my brain and I realized I was good enough, I was capable and my baby deserved to be raised by her  Since the fog had lifted it has made it that much more painful, the realization I was manipulated.  Cruel and heartless people separated me from my baby.

23 Mother's Days have passed.

Nothing.  Nada.  Zip.

As each Mother's Day passes and there still is no word from my First Daughter, the words that broke me play in my mind like a broken record.  There have been no responses to the letters, cards and messages I have sent.  

23 Mother's Days have passed.

No responses, no calls, not even a "F*** YOU!"

Every year that feeling deep inside me screams out...she believes what they told her, she believes what they told me.  I just hope one day she does realize I was good enough, I was capable, we should never have been separated and that I have always loved her...unconditionally.


Anonymous said...

It has been 22 Mothers Day's for me and I got nada. Zilch. It is all reserved for the liar who conned him out of me with false promises. Ain't adoption just grand? She eats it up, I am sure. Someone had to pay for her temporary infertility. That person was going to be the mother of the child she covets.

In Blind Faith said...

adoption sucks...