The week before my First Daughter was born my Mother went to Hawaii with her boyfriend for the week. My Grandmother had to stay with us because my Mother was afraid we would throw a party or something. Did she not realize that I was no condition to throw a party? Anyway, Gran'ma was with us for the week.
There was a knock on the door, I waddled over to answer it. At first I didn't recognize the person standing there, it was my Birthfather. It was about 4 months since my sister and I last saw him and he had lost a lot of weight. I let him him, my Gran'ma was on the couch (her leg was in a cast from breaking it the month before) and she was surprised. Gran'ma was practically drooling! Telling my Birthfather that he looked hot, then she started telling my sister and I about how good-looking she thought our Birthfather was before he married his second wife. My sister and I were completely grossed out!! Ewwww....Gran'ma had the hots for my Birthfather.
I knew why Birthfather was there, the weight loss, the new car and the urge to go shopping told me everything I need to know. He and my Stepmom had separated for the hundredth time, it was the same story...they split up, BF loses the weight he gained from eating Stepmom's food, buys a new sports car, and he tries to make up for lost time by taking my sister and I shopping. Well, we might as well enjoy it while we can because we both know they will be back together again soon.
BF noticed I had worn out my Keds. I loved my Keds and now I could wear them without socks because I had ankles!! We walked through mall to a shoe store and there my BF bought me 3 new pairs of Keds...white, black and navy. My swollen feet were happy. As we went shopping I had to endure my BF's bad pregnancy jokes...I'd be a tennis ball if I was wearing yellow and didn't shave my legs, I'd be a bowling ball if I was wearing black, etc. I knew him well enough to know these bad jokes were keeping BF from breaking down in tears, I don't know if the tears would be from me being pregnant, his separation, or the fact that he had been a crappy Father to us since he married my stepmom 10 years ago. While we were listening and half-hearted laughing at his bad jokes my sister and I were also grossing out over the girls my age checking out my BF...Ewwww!!!!
I was dying for a Banana Split, so after shopping he took my sister and I over to Braum's. Thankfully, it was quiet in there and the jokes stopped and there were no girls in there checking out BF. I inhaled my Banana Split while BF would tell my little sister stories about when we were little and he would bring us here. Afterwards BF dropped us off at the little apartment we were now living in. We were glad to be back home. Unfortunately, we had to listen to Gran'ma carry on all evening about how hot she thought BF was and how it must be the Choctaw in him that made him so good looking. My Sister and I made gagging faces for the rest of the night while our cousin would laugh telling Gran'ma she was a sick woman for thinking that way about her ex-son-in-law.