My husband tells people I have ADD/OCD, I can't decide on which distraction to obsess over. People seem to find the humor in this, but they don't realize how true this statement is about me. What they don't know is that I need to focus in on a distraction (I prefer positive distractions) so I don't go crazy trying to figure out why my First Daughter still wants nothing to do with me.
So far this summer has been filled with all kinds of distractions I would honestly wish to go away, especially right now. Every July I seem to be on edge, sometimes I just start crying for what people think is for no reason. What some don't know is that my First Daughter's birthday is on July 23rd, this year she will be 23 years old. 23 years of trying to cope with losing a child to adoption.
The Murder Trial I was suppose to be a witness for has been postponed to July 18th. Great...just what I needed added to my plate the week of my First Daughter's birthday. This is starting to get a little annoying for me. Not only am I remembering the vivid details surrounding the birth of "Ashley" and our time spent together in the hospital, but I am also remembering vivid details of this murder. You would think this trial would be enough to distract me...but no...I am a master at juggling things! *Sigh*
My youngest daughter is currently spending two weeks in Florida with the Grandparents. My In-laws believe children should be seen and not heard. I think this visit has been quite an eye opener for them (and my little one). They have now realized that we are raising this 12 year old to speak up and not let people walk all over her. She'll be home in two days...I think we will all be glad when she's back home.
While my youngest is in Florida my husband and I finally had enough of my daughter's synchronized ice skating coach. We pulled our daughter off the team. Now I'm dealing with 8 other Mom's bitching at me because we questioned the coach's abilities. Seriously? Everyone of them bitched and complained behind the coach's back, but when someone says something they freak out and turn on the person who wasn't a chicken shit and actually said enough was enough. Right now I'm very confused, why would parents teach their children to talk behind people's backs and then be a chicken shit towards the person who stands up? Younger Daughter doesn't know about this yet, we are waiting to tell her when she gets home. She'll be upset that we are not going to San Diego for the State Games of America, but she will be relieved. Her private coach has already told her that she wanted her on the Intermediate Synchronized Skate Team.
So I have all of this going on...the same time I am trying to cope with the fact that my First Daughter will be turning 23 in 20 days and so far she doesn't give a crap about me, her First Mother.
Hurry up and be done with July!!!