Adoption Sucks!

Monday, September 19, 2011 about 10:15pm I get a phone call from Mom, "Daddy is in the hospital.  This shouldn't be a big deal, but I just wanted to let you know."  I told Mom to call and let me know if anything changes.

Monday about 11:00pm I just went to bed when the phone rings, it's my sister.  At first she's crying so hard I can't understand what she is saying.  Then she tells me "Daddy".  I told her I was on my way.

Monday about 11:15pm, I'm on my way to the hospital.  As I am driving, I'm trying to shake the sleepiness off and fight back the tears.  Daddy is my super awesome, totally cool, kick ass step dad.  He married my mom in 1996 when I was 26.  I wasn't around him for the first couple of years before they got married because I was having issues with my mom.  As I got to know this man, he became daddy.  He was more of a Daddy to my sister and I in the last 15 years then our own fathers were (biological or adopted).  

By the time I pull out of my neighborhood it hits me.  Adoption sucks!  Another person who is very important to me is being ripped from my life, another person I wanted Ashley to meet.

I was in the emergency room a little before midnight.  He had a stoke which caused a massive brain bleed, once he was off the ventilator he could survive one or two days.  It was my job to reach my step brothers (because I am a little squeamish) and then call every one else after the sun came up.  About 7:30am on Tuesday, he was taken off of the respirator and moved to a room upstairs, made comfortable, given a morphine drip and a DNR tag.

Wednesday afternoon, I had a total of 5 1/2 hours sleep since arriving at the hospital, I left the hospital for about 30 minutes on Tuesday night and that was it.  We had convinced my Mom to go down to the cafeteria to get away for a little bit, she left with my aunt and her best friend.  My sister and cousins left for my sister's house to decompress for a little while.  I stayed behind, I stayed and held his hand, counting the seconds between each breath.  About 1:15 my older step brother showed up.  I didn't know he was coming so early and I was so glad to see him.  It was just the two of us, alone with Daddy.  About 1:30 ish, Daddy took his last breath. 

Adoption has erased another important person I wanted Ashley to meet.  She will never laugh at his jokes, she will never know this super awesome, totally cool, kick ass man.  Adoption Sucks!