Monday, September 5, 2011

A strange path to cross

Before I became an Esthetician and started working working in this strange Beauty World I was an Executive Assistant.  I spent 20 years working in Corporate America, supporting Executives at different levels, in different industries.  My favorite was IT, there was something wonderful about working in a department with a bunch of eccentric, brilliant people.  My worst was working for this one man at a recruiting company.  A while back I wrote about my former HR Manager, well, this HR Manager reported to this man I supported at the recruiting company.

You guessed it...this will be about the COO I supported.

When I started working at the recruiting company my HR Manager felt the need to tell me COO was adopted.  I do not know why she felt the need to tell me this and to be completely honest, I thought it was very tacky of her.  She kept telling me the reason he was such an ass was because he was adopted, again, very tacky and I bit my tongue, she was an ignorant fool and you can not reason with stupidity.

On my first day the COO wanted to take me to lunch, so we could get to know one another better.  The restaurant was extravagant, a place that made me feel very uncomfortable.  It became very clear that he loved throwing money around and loved showing off how much he had.  Great, another one who has his head up his ass.  I was very quiet,  wanted to get a good read on the person I was supporting, and he loved to talk...about himself.  At some point he told me it was important for me to know he was adopted...I thought it was very odd that he said it this way.  I asked if he ever thought about finding his Birth Mother.  His response had me completely shocked me!!  He spent about 20 minutes explaining to me that he was "saved" because his Birth Mother was nothing but a whore and he would never search her out because his adoptive Mother had explained what kind of trash his birth family was and his Mother was always right.  I got this sick feeling, I knew it would be best to keep my mouth shut on the subject.  

The hatred this man had was unbelievable and the brainwashing from his adoptive Mother was unbelievable!!  And he didn't stop there, oh no, he went there...he proceeded to tell me that all unwed teenaged mothers were whores who didn't deserve to be a part of society.  This man was 10 years older than me, he was born during the BSE and thanks to the brainwashing of his "Saintly" Adoptive Mother who rescued him had successfully filled his head (and heart) with hatred and taught him how to not have any compassion for anyone.  It was sick!  My heart broke for his Birth Mother and I wanted to throw my iced tea in his face.

COO asked what I thought about adoption, so I told him my father relinquished his rights.  He said that was interesting and he couldn't understand why I still maintained some kind of relationship with him...because afterall...he was no better than a Birth Mother.  I told him, unlike his Birth Mother, my father chose to sign away his rights because he thought his step children were better and more deserving than his own biological children.  He was not bullied into signing his rights away.  I was becoming very angry and I tried my best to remain calm.  So I changed the subject because I knew there was no sense in fighting a battle with a man who has spent his entire life being brainwashed.  Like I said before you can not reason with stupidity.

The next day COO called me into his office.  He told me he was thinking about our conversation at lunch (more like his conversation about himself).  He said there was something about me that he could not put his finger on.  He couldn't figure it out, but there was something about me that I was hiding and he liked it.  Megalomaniac Dumbass...I am a Birth Mother.

I left this job about 5 months later.  This man was seriously out of control about everything.  There was a happy hour one night, the same night as my youngest daughter's Meet the Teacher night at school.  I have never missed this event and I wasn't about to miss this one.  COO gave me a choice, I needed to decide which was more important...him or my daughter.  I've missed everything with my First Daughter and there was no way I'm missing out on my youngest daughter!   Arrogant asshole!  I tolerated alot with him, I put up with his unforgivable bashing of Birth Mothers, I kept my mouth shut when he referred to his employees as peasants, and I watched him pitch fits when people did not bow down to him and treat him like some kind of a God.  No job or boss will ever come before my daughter!

If I would have met this man 20 years ago he would have made me feel so dirty and ashamed for being pregnant when I was a teenager, but I know better now. Maybe I was suppose to experience this, so I could see an extreme side of adoption.  See the damage an adoptive mother can do when she teaches her adopted child to hate and see the damage an adult Adoptee with a cruel and hateful heart can do...I don't know.   What I do know is that is he giving Adoptees a bad name, and I don't like that.  This was a battle I chose not to fight, I chose to walk away from it.  You can't reason with stupidity. 

Maybe I was suppose to experience this so I could be case Ashley feels the same way about me.  Or maybe I was being tested to see how well I handled this type of situation.  I don't know.  I know there was a reason I was there.  I hope that Ashley wasn't taught to behave the same way as COO and I hope HR Manager was exaggerating when she told me she remembered Ashley's Adoptive Mother saying awful things about me.  I may never know, all I can do is learn from it.  It certainly was a strange path to cross.


birthmothertalks said...

I am working for an elderly lady who is an adoptive mother and she has at times made me feel very bad too. She blames her children's problems on their "parents" Because of her age I am letting it slide cause I know I can't change her and it could be some mental because of how old she is.

Anonymous said...

Ah yes, those saintly, holier than thou adopters who THINK they are so much better than the rest of humanity.I abhorr these women more than you could ever imagine.